Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
