This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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