don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
