Just cropdusted the office
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
