you would pick up someone in the library
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
