I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
