Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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