You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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