Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
