fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
