i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He? As in you personified your dick?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
