It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
my liver is dry heaving
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
