There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize