Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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