During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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