dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
