the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We left the knife in your bed.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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