Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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