and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
