Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
