I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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