i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
