just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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