I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
