Yo dont text me then not text me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
