Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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