If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
