Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
