Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
