Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize