he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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