You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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