Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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