I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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