Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
