i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
