i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
