Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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