i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
