Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
