do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
