she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
