is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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