she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The best revenge is premature balding
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
