I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
