so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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