You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
