Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
