after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize