She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
