Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
