would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
