When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
