He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
do nipples grow back?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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