Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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