Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
