She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
