I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
