Where did you get a picture of my penis
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
