you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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