Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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