My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
