so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
