Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
