this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
