Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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