This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize