will power is for people who don't want to get laid
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
