She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
