yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
