dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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