I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
