STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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