So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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