Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
